LTFRedKnight

Yeah I'm seriously confused. If any of you read my previous journal you'll know that I'm pretty much disconnected with those around me at the moment. I've returned to self-destruction and seriously I cannot take this life anymore :( Everyone seems to be unaware, doesn't care or cannot seem to care. I've become a patient to a bunch of people with no cure and I've been left to figure out things alone. My beloved is currently away and I've sworn to myself I'm never gonna to talk to him about my problems ever again because I swear to god I am on the verge of telling him how I feel and then fuck knows what next. But he was one of the last peopl

Alright. This is gonna be really diffrent in comparison to my previous all happy journal but oh well here it goes. . . I reallly am lost on how I should be feeling now. I've relapsed into a self-destructive habit. Not anyone's fault and I'm not going to go into details but let's just say Rome wasn't built in a day. It's gonna take me sometime to adjust back into a state of normality placing me in a rather vunerable state where I'm pouring my heart out to almost everyone :-x it's kinda made things worse. I've got all these people harrassing me to stop and tell them more. Then there's that other group in my life which are happy- yeah my soc

Okay I'm just so glad at the moment- I still have an excellent friend :love: I really do. Basically on Friday after trying to help out a certain someone (she named and shamed me in her journal and tried to get a bunch of people to hate me) who rejected my help and told me to shut up I was afraid I was gonna to lose a really good friend of mine because of it. But right now I'm the most fortunate person! She also has her side of the story which is quite frankly completely understanding :D Now I've seen the whole story and I feel so glad. 'Cause you know what- even if a bunch of her watchers hate me that doesn't matter! I didn't lose those